Beautiful world

Because of my depression I feel just empty inside. Dead. I often can't see the beauty that's around me. Or the beauty of living. I just feel so heavy and tired all the time. Like there's invisible weights on my body and there's a curtain between me and the world. I feel disconnected. But there are times I feel alive. Really very much alive. I embrace those moments. And I wish I could get up from this deep hole that is depression.
In my city there are a few eskers here. On top of one of them is a place with some large rocks. Sometimes I like to go there and just sit on one of the rocks and look up to the sky. It's beautiful. And the view is great too. When it's nighttime you can see some of the city lights. I really like it. I love when it's dark because you can see the lights. But I'm scared of darkness. I'm paranoid someone's gonna do something bad to me.
In this comic I have my hair coloured hence the blue colour vs my natural blonde. I really hated my natural hair colour for years because of my mother. But I will talk more about that later.

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